


Q Tells Terrible Jokes (not 'verse specific)

by AtoTheBean



Series: Ato's Head Canons [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, general headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25135210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtoTheBean/pseuds/AtoTheBean
Series: Ato's Head Canons [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1412737
Comments: 20
Kudos: 57
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Q Tells Terrible Jokes (not 'verse specific)

Q tells _awful_ jokes. He delights in terrible puns, and definitely snickers at his own (“I believe I said, ‘Bring it back in one piece,’ not, ‘Bring back one piece.’). And though he’d never admit it, Bond is fairly confident that Q enjoys Bond’s own terrible lines. Even the ones the boffin hears over comms directed at other people.

But Q’s favorite seems to be the science-themed jokes. Jokes about programming or maths, or just geeky things that most mere mortals aren’t aware of. He tells them often enough — especially if you can get him a bit pissed at the pub. But he also _collects_ them. It’s become a bit of a contest among the minions to bring him fresh jokes. Bond discovers the scoresheet R keeps when a minion comes up to her, beaming, saying that he’s made Q snort his tea.

She grins, brings up a spreadsheet on one of the monitors, and steps aside so the minion can enter the relevant data. The date, topic, joke, and the Quartermaster’s response on a Q-laugh-scale: huff, snort, chortle, guffaw, and wheeze.

“What’s the last column for?” Bond asks R as the minion returns to his work station.

“You get extra points if you catch Q telling your joke to someone else. Another bonus if he’s embellished it.”

“Points?” Bond asks, amused.

“At the end of the year, whoever has the most points receives a gag gift from Q for the holidays.”

Bond chuckles. “And who’s in the lead.”

“That’s a closely guarded secret, 007. Strictly need-to-know.” But the wink she gives him and the smug smirk on her face as she turns back to her work make him think he knows the answer.


End file.
